The first date is always a reason for powerful emotions and even the most experienced persons may fail at the first date. However, for some of the beginners in dating a first date is the most important. How to dress? How to behave? What to talk about? These are just a few of the important chapter a dating beginners has to cover with success in order to have a good first date. In this small beginners guide to perfect first date we’ll learn what to do to be successful.
How to dress?
Dressing code should be something like smart casual, but is depending on where you meet your partner. Avoid sports outfits as well as those that are too stylish (unless you go to a luxurious theater or restaurant). But these dating outfits are generally rarer for beginners.
Very important for men is that women are highly influenced by the sense of smell. An investment in a good fragrance that suits you it definitely deserves the money. Be careful not to use too much fragrance.
Women at a first date shouldn’t wear very sexy outfits because they might send a wrong message if so.
The first contact
Don’t be late! Man or woman, whatever, you should be punctual!
The first impression is very important and women need to see a man with a lot of self-confidence, while men want to see a lady and not a ‘chick’.
Always keep eyes contact when you meet for the first time. Doing so you’ll show respect.
The location of the first date
Some people tend to consider that the first date should be something special. Sincerely, I do not believe in that. I think the personality, first of all, is the one that define successful date, regardless of location. But your personality and conversational skill must be successful.
An appealing personality and successful conversational skills (if you are not born with them) develop only with practical experience. Therefore, if your first dates with different women are not successful, don’t worry because in time you’ll get rid of the nervousness and emotions and you’ll be able to be yourself and to promote your personal qualities.
As locations, cafes, terraces and parks are preferable.
If you are a too active person or want something special for your first date, you can invite your date to a bicycle ride through the park, take your date in a special location outside the city, climb into a train with a random destination (or in the subway/bus), go to a concert, etc.
If you are a more elitist, you can take it to a theater or an art gallery, at first, then at a luxury restaurant to talk about what you’ve experienced together.
Many people make the mistake to go to the movie at the first date. Movies are not meant for the first time, in my opinion, because you can not interact or communicate with your date.
In conclusion, your first date location should take place in a place where you can communicate with your date or do something special.
The most important part to a perfect first date is the conversation. Supposedly, except for blind dates, you’ve already talked with your date for some time now and know something about her/him.
Men should opt for a funny conversation because women love a man with a good sense of humor. However, try not to be too funny because you’ll fall in your own trap. Too funny guys may end up being just friends and not lovers.
However, at the first date you should never:
- Talk too much about your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends – If asked why you’re single and what have gone wrong with your previous relationship you should give a straight answer without putting your ex into a bad light. This shows respect.
- Make fun of other people around – Involuntary, you might offense your date.
- Bring up sex talk too soon, especially if you don’t feel your date up for this kind of talk – If your date seems too shy this kind of talk could make her/him feel bad and you could ruin your first date. Besides, talking about sex too soon may send wrong messages and you could appear as shallow.
- Interrupt your date in the middle of the discussion – This shows that you’re not interested in what she/he says.
- Opt for cliches – ‘Where do you want to go on holidays?’, ‘What genre of music you listen to?’, ‘What books you like to read?’ are cliché questions and, even though they are not totally wrong, they might make you look common and lacking of imagination.
On the other hand, you should be yourself and talk about your hobbies and passions, your childhood, your work, your qualities and flaws, etc. Always listen up to your date and you should always find common grounds instead of pointing out the differences between you two.
The attraction between you two should be obvious and you should feel it since the first moments of the date. However, this attraction must be kept at the same level during the first date, or even increased.
A quality conversation will definitely keep the attraction level at the same level while finding some common points will most definitely increase the attraction level.
Also, non-verbal communication is important. It is not enough to be smart and intelligent with a bunch of communication skills! Your emotional skills are also important because in emotions resides the key for the true attraction. A higher EI (emotional intelligence) can be sometimes even more important than the IQ.
Non-verbal communication is done by gestures, touches, posture, and so on.
Also, non-verbal communication can transmit some messages. For example, when women are feeling attraction, they tend to look in your eyes while are gently playing with their hair.
The first kiss
One of the most important steps of a first date is the kiss. The first kiss shouldn’t be done in a hurry. If you rush it, the importance of the moment can be ruined.
However, the kiss should be done only when your date partner seems ready for it. You should feel when it’s the proper time for a first kiss.
The first kiss shouldn’t be too long or too much. You should always start slowly for a perfect first date.
A perfect first date
Using this beginners guide to a perfect first date shouldn’t be enough. These tips and tricks are only designed to help you make a good first impression and to start a great conversation, but you should always be yourself and to look self-confident and charming. To be honest, experience is the key of success in the art of seduction!