How do you know you’re wrong in a relationship that does to you more harm than good things? According to a survey the main clue and the most common sign you’re settling in an unhappy relationship, with 82% of the votes amount, is if you spend more time arguing than the time you’re enjoying each other company. But this is not the only sign by which you can evaluate your relationship with your partner.
Next, you’ll find 9 other signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship, or in a toxic relationship if you want. These signs were the most voted by the experts on couples therapy that participated in the survey.
- There is too much hostility between you and your partner.
Are you feeling insecurity, unprotected, or you feel like you are always enemies during a war?
If your partner is hostile to you, and you feel like living in a tense environment and you can not express your dissatisfaction and grievances openly, then you’re settling in an unhappy relationship, which is not a healthy one.
- Your partner constantly criticizes you and is contemptuous.
Do you get criticized even in public or in front of your friends, and you feel that the partner is considering himself superior and that nothing you do is pleasing him? Is your partner always amusing on your account and displays a contemptuous air of superiority?
These are all warning signs that the relationship is an unhappy one.
- Your partner is distant and avoids you.
It’s not only a matter of abuse and violence to make a relationship to become a toxic relationship.
Missing affection is more than enough. If your partner is not showing you love gestures, is not tender, or romantic, and constantly rejecting you, then you’re settling in an unhappy relationship.
- Your partner does not care about your needs.
Communication in the couple is the basis of a happy relationship. In its absence, the relationship is falling apart, because you get to be alienated from each other and live, in fact, completely different lives. How do you know if you have problems in terms of communication? How do you answer the following questions:
Does your partner listen to you and takes account of your views?
Does your partner talk with you about your needs and asks you how can please you?
Is your partner willing to make some sacrifices for your happiness?
Is your partner valuing your feelings?
If your answers are more noes than yeses then you’re settling in an unhappy relationship.
- Your partner offends you frequently.
This is no interpretation. Sure, little quarrels are normal in every couple, but when it comes to harsh words, it becomes clear that the relationship is a toxic one. Once insults are made, then any problems you have are more amplified. As a result, the will be wounded pride and feelings.
- Do you feel that you’re not yourself anymore?
If you had to adjust yourself to be accepted by your partner, then your relationship starts from a false premise and can not resist and flourish, especially if you constantly live under pressure of not being able to say what you think, because you’re afraid not to get dumped. For the love to be authentic, you have to express freely and be accepted as you are.
- Your partner controls every aspect of your life.
When your partner gets to dictate what you can do and what not, what friends to have, what career to follow, whether or not to continue your studies, how to dress and so on, or simply to behave like an authoritarian parent, you will not be able to find happiness in that relationship.
If you’re in this situation, you’re probably used to obey, because you realize that your opinions are not important to your partner and prefer to sacrifice yourself instead of making your point clear and argue.
- Your partner is always making you feel guilty.
Another indication that you’re settling in an unhappy relationship is the presence of the emotional blackmail.
If your partner is often trying to make you feel like you owe him everything and that you should be grateful for the benefits offered, such as comfort, financial security, vacations and so forth, then your relationship goes in a dangerous direction.
Each one of you has merits as a couple and should not feel in any way obliged to stay in a relationship.
- Your partner wants to keep the relationship secret.
If your partner is asking you to keep the relationship secret, then maybe he is hiding something, or simply does not see in you a stable partner. Maybe your partner has a higher social status, or it uses you only for sexual pleasure, no matter what your partner’s reasons are, there is nothing related to love. Your partner does nor loves you if asks you to keep the relationship secret, therefore don’t lose any time because you’re settling in an unhappy relationship and you might suffer.
Hopefully, is not your case, but if you’re settling in an unhappy relationship do the best thing you can do: leave! There are other single people on this planet, people capable of loving and you deserve love, as all of us do. Take care of yourself!